This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This is a process to use those who come to you for help with a problem or simply wants to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics, like me and you", not for dealing with those suffering from serious psychiatric conditions.
It is not a way to give advice (a common mistake for any counseling approach). If you adhere to this method, you'll be safe and likely do a lot of good.
Stage One: Listening
Listening is the act of understanding the content and the emotions associated with it.
Cerebral understanding isn't enough.
Never make a statement that is a statement that defines the issue or of the other party's feelings. Instead, ask instead. Do not say, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or "The method you think of it is . . . ". At this point, it might suffice to be able to say "uh-huh" or shake your head.
The process ends when the person begins to talk about the root of the issue. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feelings behind it.
Stage Two Stage Two: Exploratory Listening
If the person who is talking to you is able to hear them, they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. You can ask if they've ever had this experience before. what they've attempted to do in similar situations, whether it worked or not; Whether there are thoughts or emotions that are happening for them. You can, if you are able to clearly observe something make observations of the things Idaho Youth Ranch you observe. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and the list goes on. In this case, it's better to ask questions than to make statements.
The most important thing at this stage is to remain in touch with their emotions at the depth they are experiencing them.
If you aren't able to do this, inform them Don't try to fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't take this on right now." They'll appreciate this more than acting like it (and they'll know for sure if you are just pretending).
The stage is over when the problem is looked at differently, and a fresh perspective is obtained.
Stage Three: Doing Different Things
When they start seeing things differently they will begin to approach things differently or at least plan to.
The temptation for anyone who comes to you with a concern is to rush to this stage right away. This is not a good idea. What is needed is the opportunity to look into what's happening and then to view it in a new way.
At this point, you are able to offer suggestions on what has worked for you.
Do not get caught up in playing "Yes, but . . . ".
If they provide reasons as to the reason why your suggestions don't work Do not argue. Instead, ask what they tried, the reason it did not work, and how they could try differently this time.
You might want to make arrangements that they can check in with you so that they can monitor the progress they make in their new method of working.
This phase is over when they attempt to demonstrate the new behavior with you, or when they've got an idea of the new behavior they would like to test with other people.
The process is largely about listening.
The other person is always aware more about their situation than you do.
Never offer advice about what they should do. In the final stage, you might want to share your experiences if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.
With a little practice you can get quite good fast at this skill. You might end up being the person people turn to for advice'. If you stick to this process and don't give advice, you'll be doing great work and assist many people.